This guy lives in the Redlands. Where the fuck is the Redlands? I google map it and it's about 80 miles from where I live. Holy shitballs.
His emails show him as a super easy going guy. He throws in a lot of hahahahs (like me) and the lols as well (not like me). He's a 32 years old full-time nursing student, working 20 hour weekends for extra cash. He's living in the garage of his aunt/uncle's place, rent free, while attending nursing school. Despite all of this, after talking to him he seems like a decent guy. Maybe meet him for a date but he's fucking far.
We talk on the phone a bit, do some texting and we seem to get along pretty well. We decide to meet at an equidistant location, which was to be Irvine.
He asks if we can meet in Pomona instead. Me being the agreeable person (I need to stop being agreeable) says sure, Pomona. I map the Coffee Bean he's talking about and it's actually Ontario. That's fucking 60 miles for me. That means he drives 20. Sigh. I STILL am willing to get date #12 out of this.
He texts me the night before we're to meet (backstory: he pulled out his wisdom tooth that day):
Ben: Lily! How's your day? Anything exciting? Plans tonight? The vicodin has ruined me for today lol I'm already in bed w joey jojos hahaha. =)
Me: Hiya! I'm catching up with a friend over dinner right now. :) hanging out in bed sounds fantastic! And what the heck are joey jojos?
Ben: She's my little girl lol did I mention I have a 5 year old?
...... 5 year old girl? What. The. Fuck? Not that it's a bad thing he has a daughter, but maybe he should let people know beforehand? And also, who wants to deal with the drama of a daughter?
I call him on the phone. It goes something like this:
Me: So, are there any other children that I should know about?
Ben: What? What do you mean?
Me: So Joey jojos is your 5 year old daughter right?
Ben: Hahahahaha, no, just kidding she's my dog!!
Me: OH MY GOD. You SCARED ME! I nearly had a heart attack when I read that since I totally thought you had a daughter!!
.....continue talking........
We hang up. I then proceed to text him:
Me: You will have to make up for my heart attack tomorrow!!
Ben: I so don't do that on the first date lol nice try though darlin. ;)
Me: Hahahaha what?? What are you talking about? I'd like to know what you're referring to, since I merely was going to make you buy me coffee. :)
Ben: Um, ya that's it exactly, I don't pay on the first date. THat is what I referred to of course. =) dutch is more appropriate.
Me: Oh yes, I totally agree. Goddamnit now I look like I ask for handouts, and I am totally a Dutch girl. Don't worry I can and want to pay for my own coffee!! :D
Ben: Actually this is kind of a bad time for me financially so if u can get mine too that would be just terrific. =) thanks!
Me: Hahahaha okay okay I'l get your coffee too. :)
Ben: Sweet! Sugarmama.... =)
Would you be willing to meet me near pomona instead? Coffee AND dinner wud be on me n there's a really cool dueling piano bar I think wud be fun. =)
Me: Sure, Pomona sounds fine. :) just tell me where!
Ben: Theres a huge mall called victoria gardens we can do coffee bean there still. You like sushi? Oh n I was kiddin coffee n dinner are still on you. ;)
Despite all this shit listed above, I STILL gave him a chance. I hopped on the 10 and promptly hit traffic. I get mad. Fuck this shit, he's not worth 60 miles and 3 hours of traffic. I get off the freeway at La Cienega and call him. No pickup so I leave a voicemail saying we should do this another time.
He texts back:
Hmm... There's not much traffic on the 91... Just a thought. :)
If you want to meet me so much, YOU FUCKING DRIVE OUT HERE!!! So, I break up with him over text. And I haven't even met him. He keeps texting back saying he was really excited to meet me, and that I should give this a shot. I hide under the excuse that he's too far geographically and this wouldn't work out.
So, another summary:
Pros:
- Kinda cute. He's a surfer and has the sufer bod.
- Easy to talk to.
Cons
- Douchebag wouldn't even pay for my coffee (as a joke nonetheless!!!) and I would be driving 60 miles to meet him. Anyone who knows Lily H. Madison knows she can pay for her own shit and DOES pay for her own shit.
- Kept changing the meeting location. Just pick a place!
- Kept making the meeting location farther and farther away from me, and closer and closer to him.
- I just noticed this as I was typing out the text exchange, but he types "wud". OMG! DEAL BREAKER!!
Rereading my texts to him, I'm so fucking nice. It disgusts me. I don't like how easy going I am. I mask my true feelings behind this happy-go-lucky-go-with-the-flow farce and it seems to only come back to bite me in the ass. Perhaps if I put more of the serious tone in my communication, this type of shit won't happen as much.
I think that also may confuse the guys. They see how friendly I am and immediately assume that I like them. No, this is not the case. I will be friendly to William Hung but I would never bang him, nor would I ever become his girlfriend. I hate the idea of changing that about me though, I am a friendly gal. Maybe I just need to be careful in specific situations where the guy is there for the intent of dating me. I can be myself at work or with my friends, but perhaps be more reserved on dates?? But it's not true to who I am. What a pickle I am in!!
This is exhausting.
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