Date #14 - Eric

He does stem cell research at UCLA. He wants to cure cancer in his lifetime. He is one of those ridiculously good, good men. And we get along swimmingly. Over email. ;)

We've been emailing back and forth now for about 2 weeks. I can tell he's a very patient man, wants to get to know me via this insulated medium called email. And via the dating site email as well, so it's a double-blind situation here. I finally upped the anty and asked him to switch to our real email addresses. And eventually, I upped it once more by giving him my number. And so I've slowly begun to chip away at this fortress that he's unwittingly put up.

He has no antics here, no games, no skeletons in his closet. Just a really genuine guy who is willing to meet new people. He's smart as hell and uses words I've never heard of before but isn't pretentious about it. He talks about sex like a textbook reader. And I've called him out on that to which he responded that if we had drinks and talked about sex, that the conversation would loosen up. When I told him I had argyle knee socks, he said he blushed when he said that was hot and that I should wear those around him. He says that my emails make him happy, and in truth, his emails make me happy as well. I end up a laughing a lot at the way he describes things.

So even before I have even met him, I feel like I know him really well. I guess it was more about seeing if we had chemistry in person. And that we did.

Pros

• So, so, so sweet. Not a malicious bone in his body.
  
• Really, really smart. But oh so humble about it. Makes me respect him.
• He has excellent grammar, spelling and diction. I love learning new words from people.
• He has a sexy voice. Can be a phone sex operator if he wants.
  
• He finds his work fascinating, so he's very motivated with his job. I find his work fascinating, even if I can't understand everything fully.
• He's an excellent teacher.
• He's sarcastic and makes me laugh.
• A very well balanced individual.
• He has direction for his future, career-wise and life-wise. He knows what he wants.

Cons

• I'm shallow, I'm not a nut about how he dresses.
• I'm shallow, I'm not completely physically attracted to him, but I still think he's cute.
• He goes to work pretty much everyday, including Saturdays and Sundays. Which means he also works long, long hours.
• He might not be in LA if he goes to grad school in San Francisco or San Diego.

We spend the entire afternoon and evening together. He would find ways to touch my hands or my arm in very subtle ways. He didn't want to let me go home, as he said. But I was having a good time too.

We walked over to UCLA to see his lab. He showed me his cells (they are his babies) and the things he was working on. He had a schoolboy eagerness in wanting to share his world with me.

Since his car was in the shop (someone rear-ended his brand new RSX) I offered to take him home, since a late night bus ride didn't sound very nice for him. I pulled up in front of his apartment and I knew it was gonna happen. I was gonna go for a hug but he decided to kiss me instead. I didn't actually want it to happen, but I just went with it. And he lingered and did the nose-rub thing and lingered and kissed some more. The kiss was nice, but man, now it's getting complicated.

I'm sure we'll have a second date. But I need to let him know that I'm dating other people. I forgot I needed to tell people that. :( Damnit, I forgot....

Date #13 - Daryl

He's a video game designer from our mortal enemy: Neversoft.  They make Guitar Hero.  Long live Rock Band!!  He also has 38 years to his age, 4th generation Japanese (so unfortunately doesn't speak a lick of it) and seems like an all-around-averagely-nice guy.  He didn't seem like a psycho and seemed to spell pretty well, so I decided to give this a shot.

We met at Unurban in Santa Monica, a really funky coffee shop with old school ripped-out theater seats, random mismatched furniture like purple tables with rose wallpaper coverings and just overall odd decor.  It was cool.

I got there and he had just ordered an iced chai frappucino.  I tell him to go find a seat and I too order one.  He offers me the "good" seat, a tall white wood-backed chair with a flower seat cushion, while he takes the 4-legged stool.  Polite.

Pros

• Very nice guy.  Probably couldn't say mean things to people.
  
• He looks quite young for 38.  Would age well.
• Not bad looking.  Kinda emo-ish hair, but it's acceptable.
• Attentive about my needs.  I was sitting in the sun and he asked me if it was too warm and if we should move.  I told him thanks but I like the sun!
• Pretty open.  He asked me how things are going on match, and I told him not bad, I've been going on 2nd dates a few times.  He told me about his disaster dates which was kinda funny but cool in that he was able to talk about it with me.
• He kept saying nice things about me.  How different I was from all the other girls on match, how indepedent I was, how open-minded I was.  ;)  Oh stop!
• Lives alone.  Yay!

Cons

• Nervous around me!  He would get stuck on saying certain things once in a while.  Mind you, our meeting was 1.2 hours long.
• A little bit unoriginal.  He would ask ridiculoulsy generic questions, such as "so what do you like to do in your spare time?"  *Finger down throat*  Boring!
• A little too quiet and soft spoken.  Have a bit more confidence when you speak!
• No spark.  :(  At least from my end.
• No pizzazz.  Just wasn't charming enough for me!

I could tell this guy really liked me though.  When we parted ways in front of the coffee shop, me being stupidly nice person again said, maybe we can have coffee another time.  FUCK FUCK FUCK!  I didn't want to but my tongue took over and decided to play nice again godammnit.  And he was eager to say yes.

I get home and I get a text from him asking, "What's worse, texting and driving or talking with no handset?  I respond back selecting the former and he calls me.

Daryl: "I got off the freeway because there's so much traffic.  What are you up to Lily?"

Me: "I'm restocking my toilet paper under my sink."

Daryl: "Really?  Hahaha cool.  So what are your plans for the rest of the evening?"

Me: "Just gonna run some errands and stuff.  You?"
Daryl: "Well....um.........."

*PAUSE FOR ABOUT 5000 SECONDS*

Daryl: "Do you want to hang out?"

I nearly died.  It was so awkward.  But I recovered well.

Me: "Oh, well, my place is in shambles so there's no way I could invite you over here.  And I'd invite you to go run errands with me but my errands are kinda weird, so I don't think I should bring you on those!  Hahahahah!"

Daryl: "Oh, okay then."
Me: "Good luck on your drive back!"

Daryl: "Okay, bye!"

Oh my god.  So, so embarssing.  Fuck!  And I haven't heard from him since so I think I made him feel bad.  Goddamnit.

I should let him know I didn't feel the connection.  :(  But I should be up front and honest about it, right??

Phone/Text Date #12 - Ben

We never met, but he has taught me a lot and so he gets a number.

This guy lives in the Redlands.  Where the fuck is the Redlands?  I google map it and it's about 80 miles from where I live.  Holy shitballs.

His emails show him as a super easy going guy.  He throws in a lot of hahahahs (like me) and the lols as well (not like me).  He's a 32 years old full-time nursing student, working 20 hour weekends for extra cash.  He's living in the garage of his aunt/uncle's place, rent free, while attending nursing school.  Despite all of this, after talking to him he seems like a decent guy.  Maybe meet him for a date but he's fucking far.

We talk on the phone a bit, do some texting and we seem to get along pretty well.  We decide to meet at an equidistant location, which was to be Irvine.

He asks if we can meet in Pomona instead.  Me being the agreeable person (I need to stop being agreeable) says sure, Pomona.  I map the Coffee Bean he's talking about and it's actually Ontario.  That's fucking 60 miles for me.  That means he drives 20.  Sigh.  I STILL am willing to get date #12 out of this.

He texts me the night before we're to meet (backstory: he pulled out his wisdom tooth that day):

Ben: Lily!  How's your day?  Anything exciting? Plans tonight? The vicodin has ruined me for today lol I'm already in bed w joey jojos hahaha. =)

Me: Hiya! I'm catching up with a friend over dinner right now.  :)  hanging out in bed sounds fantastic!  And what the heck are joey jojos?

Ben: She's my little girl lol did I mention I have a 5 year old?

...... 5 year old girl?  What. The. Fuck?  Not that it's a bad thing he has a daughter, but maybe he should let people know beforehand?  And also, who wants to deal with the drama of a daughter?

I call him on the phone.  It goes something like this:

Me: So, are there any other children that I should know about?

Ben: What?  What do you mean?

Me: So Joey jojos is your 5 year old daughter right?

Ben: Hahahahaha, no, just kidding she's my dog!!

Me: OH MY GOD.  You SCARED ME!  I nearly had a heart attack when I read that since  I totally thought you had a daughter!!

.....continue talking........

We hang up.  I then proceed to text him:

Me: You will have to make up for my heart attack tomorrow!!

Ben: I so don't do that on the first date lol nice try though darlin. ;)

Me: Hahahaha what?? What are you talking about? I'd like to know what you're referring to, since I merely was going to make you buy me coffee.  :)

Ben: Um, ya that's it exactly, I don't pay on the first date.  THat is what I referred to of course. =) dutch is more appropriate.

Me: Oh yes, I totally agree.  Goddamnit now I look like I ask for handouts, and I am totally a Dutch girl.  Don't worry I can and want to pay for my own coffee!!  :D

Ben: Actually this is kind of a bad time for me financially so if u can get mine too that would be just terrific. =) thanks!

Me: Hahahaha okay okay I'l get your coffee too.  :)

Ben: Sweet!  Sugarmama.... =)

Would you be willing to meet me near pomona instead? Coffee AND dinner wud be on me n there's a really cool dueling piano bar I think wud be fun.  =)

Me: Sure, Pomona sounds fine. :)  just tell me where!

Ben: Theres a huge mall called victoria gardens we can do coffee bean there still.  You like sushi?  Oh n I was kiddin coffee n dinner are still on you.  ;)

Despite all this shit listed above, I STILL gave him a chance.  I hopped on the 10 and promptly hit traffic.  I get mad.  Fuck this shit, he's not worth 60 miles and 3 hours of traffic.  I get off the freeway at La Cienega and call him.  No pickup so I leave a voicemail saying we should do this another time.

He texts back:

Hmm... There's not much traffic on the 91... Just a thought.  :)

If you want to meet me so much, YOU FUCKING DRIVE OUT HERE!!!  So, I break up with him over text.  And I haven't even met him.  He keeps texting back saying he was really excited to meet me, and that I should give this a shot.  I hide under the excuse that he's too far geographically and this wouldn't work out.

So, another summary:

Pros:

• Kinda cute.  He's a surfer and has the sufer bod.
  
• Easy to talk to. 

Cons

• Douchebag wouldn't even pay for my coffee (as a joke nonetheless!!!) and I would be driving 60 miles to meet him.  Anyone who knows Lily H. Madison knows she can pay for her own shit and DOES pay for her own shit.
  
• Kept changing the meeting location.  Just pick a place!
• Kept making the meeting location farther and farther away from me, and closer and closer to him.
• I just noticed this as I was typing out the text exchange, but he types "wud".  OMG!  DEAL BREAKER!!

Rereading my texts to him, I'm so fucking nice.  It disgusts me.  I don't like how easy going I am.  I mask my true feelings behind this happy-go-lucky-go-with-the-flow farce and it seems to only come back to bite me in the ass.  Perhaps if I put more of the serious tone in my communication, this type of shit won't happen as much.

I think that also may confuse the guys.  They see how friendly I am and immediately assume that I like them.  No, this is not the case.  I will be friendly to William Hung but I would never bang him, nor would I ever become his girlfriend.  I hate the idea of changing that about me though, I am a friendly gal.  Maybe I just need to be careful in specific situations where the guy is there for the intent of dating me.  I can be myself at work or with my friends, but perhaps be more reserved on dates??  But it's not true to who I am.  What a pickle I am in!!

This is exhausting.

Date #11 - Dane

He winks.  Then sends a short email saying "I really dig your profile.  *****@mac.com".

He's okay looking.  But I read his profile and decide he's funny enough to meet for a date.  I ask him if he'd like to meet for coffee.  He then says he's not a coffee type of person, and wants to meet at a bar "for a quiet drink in the evening".  Okay... fine.  We meet at O'Brien's in Santa Monica.

Let's do this again in list form:

Pros

• Has a sense of humor, not really my style, not super funny, but funny enough.
• Seems to enjoy his job.
• Likes dogs and is willing to take care of them.
• Has nice piano hands.  Very precise and feminine.

Cons

• Not that great looking.  Am not physically attracted to him.  At all.
• Keeps status dropping.  "Yeah, so I'm really close to the #2 in our office and we just shoot the shit".  "Yeah, I was telling the HR guy that #1, #2 and #3 all know me and say it's cool if I work from home."  "Yeah, #1 trusts me a lot because I just generate revenue for him with my side business.  I came in and handed him a $5,000 dollar check."  Really, this is not cute.
• Thinks he's a social butterfly (and you know I fucking HATE butterflies).  He talks about how awesome he is at making people fee comfortable, and engage them to open up and have fun at parties.  You are too, too cool man.
• He's a talker too.  Doesn't ask questions about me, or engage me in the conversation.  Just keeps talking about his shit.
• Immediately tells me about past ex-girlfriend who cheated on him and was psychotic blah blah blah.  Does he really need to tell me this?
• Asshole.
• Asshole.
• Asshole.

Yes, he turned out to be a major, major asshole.  Throughout the evening, he kept saying things like, "We should go to Yamashiro's sometime" and I would brush it off saying, "Yeah yeah we should" and he would call me out on it.  He would then say, "What's it gonna take for you to come over here?  Do I need to grab your ass?"  I would laugh it off because really, I do not want him to do any grabbing of the ass.  So finally, at the end of the night I want to just let him know I'm not interested.  So I do this frankly and honestly and tell him, "I had a really fun time with you, but I see you as more of in the friend category.  I'm sorry, I just wanted to be honest with you."

ASSHOLE comes out.  He then proceeds to get mad and say, "You know what your problem is?  You don't know what you want.  You suffer from.... or rather, I shouldn't use the word SUFFER, but you are ......blah blah blah...... blah blah blah....".

I say, "You're right, I'm still figuring out what I want.  But you are entitled to your opinion of me, so that's fine."

He says, "No, this isn't an OPINION of mine."

I say, "Fine, your assessment of me."

He says, "No, this isn't an ASSSESSMENT of mine."

So now I realize he's just being combatitive.  It's time to go.  I tell him thank you for the drink and good luck to you.  He half-laughing, mockingly says, "That is the most passive aggressive thing you've said all night.  Let me give you a tip on your next date.  Don't ever say that to the guy."  I just look at him for a second, then said "Good night" and left.  And as I drive away in my car, he texts me "Good luck".  MOTHERFUCKING ASSHOLE!!!!

I did not rage at him.  I raged at myself after I left.  I let him WALK ALL OVER ME.  I get so flustered when people go asshole on me, I forget to stand up for myself.  Or say the right things to convey what is really going on inside my head.  Maybe I was too nice.  Maybe I should have just let him know after the first 20 minutes.  I don't know if that actually would have alleviated the problem.  Maybe I need to just do this all via email.  This in person thing isn't going very well.  Or, I guess it will vary per person and I have to gauge it.  But boy, did I gauge wrong tonight!

Sigh.  You can't win 'em all.

Date #10 - Abel

I generally would not like to classify this as a date, but because I have at one point been attracted to my friend Abel, and he to me, I will mark this as an official date.  Don't tell him I said so though.  :)

Hadn't talked to my friend in a long, long time.  So we caught up.  He picked me up after work and we went to the Cafe Del Rey Marina.  Very upscale, very nice!  No need for much background story with him, so let's just cut to it:

Pros

• We get along REALLY well.  So easy to talk to him about anything.
  
• He makes me think in different ways.  I guess it's just his perspective on things, but it's really unique and he pushes me to think outside the box.  I really love that about him!
• He's very smart.  When he explains something to you, you see it clear as day.  Very good teacher.
• He's super entrepreneureal.  He started his own business about a year ago and he is doing very, very well for himself.  Loves what he does too!
• He's a great listener.
• He will look straight into your eyes as you talk to him.  Quite intense, but I've been able to learn how to do this and mirror it back.
• He's very generous.  Even though we are just friends, he always insists on paying for lunch/dinner.  He lets me pay once in a while though.  Like tonight he wouldn't hear of me paying, but allowed me to pay next time.  :)
• He has the same spirit as me.  We like to be free.  We like to explore.  We both take on the same patterns in a relationship.

Cons

• He's too similar to me.  I don't think we could get along as a couple since we are too similar!
• He's a bit short, although I don't mind that much.
• He's super into material things.  I like my share of toys and worldy goods, but he really, really likes that stuff.

As we discussed my adventures with the 30 date challenge, he threw out the idea that perhaps I just have a cycle.  A 2/3/whatever-year cycle where I get bored for one reason or another and move onto the next relationship.  He says that he operates exactly like me.  The boyfriend/girlfriend we are with holds all the traits of a perfect match, yet somehow, we start to get antsy and we break free.

He also said, it may not be a bad thing to work that way.  The only difficulty being, once you get older you won't be able to hop around as much.  So you either settle down with the best that you've got, or you are alone for the rest of your life.  Both not very awesome prospects, but that's the results from the lifestyle that we lead.

I understand this idea, but I don't want to believe that I'm a cycler like that.  I like being with someone I love.  I like sharing my life with someone.  I like taking on the world with a partner by my side.  But am I just ill-fated to never be content?

I really love hanging out with him.  I feel enlightened just being in his presence.  He's able to hold a mirror up to me and help me assess myself.  Without being judgemental.  And helps spin situations that I've always looked at so I can see things from a different angle.  Shows me ideas that I'd never thought of before.

I told him that the next date better be pretty fucking great after my awesome dinner with Abel.  He laughed.   And oh boy, if I had only known....

Date #9 - Ezra

Ezra is funny.  He's really sarcastic and his emails would crack me up.  Here are a few examples of his humor:

He said he appreciates good spelling and grammar, and I said that I couldn't agree more and told him about BestBuy guy who types "wud" for "would" (moron).  So on our 4~5th email exchange, he ends his email with:

"Wud u wanna meet up sumtime?  ttyl, Roseanne!"

And when I suggested Coffee Bean for our rendez-vous, he replies with:

"Coffee Bean would be fun, but maybe I can think of something more exciting yet equally safe (you might be a serial stalker, I need to be smart about this)."

Hahahahahah!!  :)  Not only is he funny, but his pictures were cute so I was looking forward to this date.  And when he showed up at Urth Caffe, he was still cute!

Pros

• Funny!  I love his style of humor.  Even in real life, he still makes me laugh.
  
• When he laughs, his eyes totally crinkle up and disappear.  For a white guy, he has smallish eyes but they're very cute when he laughs.  :)
• He's smart and ambitious.  His contract work just ended and he has all sorts of ideas to start up his own business.  He did product management before so his brain is geared to think up new business ideas.
• He's green.  He rides his bike a lot, he goes hiking with his dog in the mountains, he goes to the gym and he's fit enough to be trainer it seems!
• He seems well balanced.  When we talked about religion it was super pressure-free and we have similar viewpoints.  His grew up Jewish (Russian Jewsish!) but he doesn't practice at all it seems.  That's fine with me!  Also, I like his perspective on being healthy.  He didn't want to be a trainer because he had to sell 30-sessions at a time, but he feels that once he trains with people, he wants to show them how to lead an overall healthy lifestyle on their own.  So he wouldn't want to force people to sign up for 30 sessions.  How awesome is that!
• He's an overall nice guy.  His neighbor is out of town for the holidays so he's sticking around and watching the neighbor's dog.  He has his own dog too, but still nice enough to take care of dog #2.
• He walked me to my car.
• He texted me thanking me for enlightening him about the quadrants of Santa Monica.  Point was he did a follow up text!  Eli didn't do that!

Cons

• I've spoken to some Jewish friends before about relationships with non-Jewish folks, and I'm not sure if the potential in-laws won't accept you because you're not Jewish (for long-term relationships, that is).  Clearly, Lily H. Madison is not Jewish.
  
• He is as white-skinned as they come.  Hahahahaha not a bad con at all, but he's very light skinned.
• Talks a bit too quietly.  I can't hear him sometimes!  And anyone who knows me knows that my favorite lines are, "What?", "Can you say that again?", "Wait, what?", "I can't hear you, what?", etc.

We had really good chemistry.  He laughed a lot as did I.  When we got to my car, he asked if I'd want to do this again sometime and I answered, "Of course!".  Since he's so close to where I live and he has some time off right now as well, I think our 2nd date will happen soon.  :)

Date #8 - Brent

He is 41 years old.  He is a tenured English professor at a southern California community college.  And he initially wooed me with his English words.  Initially.

We went back and forth on email for a while and I enjoyed his prose.  But the shiny new car started to lose its luster as I noticed that he became more and more verbose with his emails.  Example excerpt (it's long, so you can skip through it if time is of the essence):

Me: "Did you spell my name wrong?"

Him: "I'm the professor whom the other English professors (at a LARGE college) come to when they are unsure of grammar or spelling, so I could not have misspelled your name. Nor could it have been explained as a mere typo, because that would be to imply that my fingers are less than magically dexterous, which would be patently untrue and unwise to insinuate at this tenuous stage of the getting to know one another process. Therefore, the bizarre spelling of your name in the salutation of in my last email can only be blamed on the sentience of my computer. My computer has literally evolved to the point of self-aware AI, and as the possessor of a self-aware, evolved mind, she has obviously fallen deeply and hopelessly in love with me. (Even though her name is Mac, she's most definitely a she. Our cross life-form relationship faces enough hurdles without it being a gay man-machine love (NOT that there's anything wrong with that!). She's obviously threatened by the developing connection between you and me and is afraid were I to eventually have a girlfriend that I would be spending my time with a hypothetical "fleshy one" (as she calls all us homo sapiens in her cutely condescending way) instead of tapping away at her lustrous keys well into the wee hours when we both finally drop into sleep mode. I know she dreams that one days our love will not be scorned but celebrated and legalized and that we might eventually raise little cyborgs. So she obviously misspelled your name hoping that you'd develop a disdain for what might be misconstrued as laziness, apathy, low-intelligence, or maladroitness. It may sound like some fiction but anyone who has seen 2001: A Space Odyssey or Eagle Eye knows Hollywood was right: it could happen. As Sherlock Holmes famously said: "When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth." 

So now that you know that I know how to spell Lily, on to other, equally important issues."

................

.......................oh....my.....god.........

So now I'm a bit apprehensive of meeting this man.  His emails keep coming in this form and I'm starting not only to lose interest, but getting a bit creeped out by this guy.

We meet at yet another local Coffee Bean.  And again, I shall summarize the meeting in pros and cons:

Pros

• He was early.  Got there at 1pm for our 2pm meet.
  
• He realized I was a cool chick, since I liked ninjas and video games.  ;)

Cons

• He was early.  I mean, he was REALLY early.  I guess he REALLY wanted to be there on time!  Made me feel a bit uncomfortable.
• He talked about 90% of the time.  And anytime I would try to say something, he would keep talking over me.  So I just shut my mouth and listened.
  
• He really seems to go for younger women.  Don't really like that.  His last girlfriend would be 30 now, so that's an 11 year spread.  Jeebus.  And now he's going for a 14 year spread.  Craddle robber!

To describes his looks, he's just an average joe for his face, but he's really, really burly.  And has a huge head.  Really not what I'd ever be looking for.

He was really into me.  I could tell.  He would get kinda nervous talking to me and I was cool as a cucumber on a hot summer day sipping on margaritas.  But he really did not know how to listen.  And I wasn't attracted to him AT ALL.

So now, he's going to Japan this week and gone for a good couple of weeks.  And I need to let him know I ain't interested.  Probably via email this time though.  Jesus, good riddance.  And I'm glad he doesn't know my last name.  Whew!!!

My next date was one I was looking forward to.  Ezra.

Date #7 - Eli

I started off not getting the vibe from this guy.  He winks on match, I look at his pictures and profile and think he's not bad, and so I wink back.  He then sends me an email with the bare minimum of, "Hi, I want to talk to you.  ###-###-####.  Hope your weekend was good.  Eli  ;)"

He seems like he can write just fine from his profile, yet this abrupt, short email doesn't make sense to me.  So whatever, I mirror it back and give him a super short email with my number as well.  He calls to see what I'm doing and I say I'm at work and we can meet afterwards if he's up for it.  He is, and texts back to confirm if we're still on.  I proceed to text back:

Me: Local Starbucks or Coffee Bean?

Eli: That's fine unless you want to get something stronger than coffee?  They have all the options at Hermosa Pier.

This is TUESDAY night.  I thought it was weird he asked me if I wanted a drink.  This is our first date!  wtf!  I push back our date to Thursday, which was earlier this evening.  We met at the Starbucks in El Segundo Plaza.

He's much better looking in real life.  Very cute.  Pretty blue (green?) eyes.  And although we were first a bit awkward in the conversation, it quickly got very comfortable.  Again, I'll list some pros and cons here, for easy reading:

Pros:

• There was a physical attraction.  I could tell he was actually interested in me and I was interested back.  He was tall and slim and cute to boot.
• He reads a lot.  He's able to discuss his reads.  We went to Borders after our coffee and I even picked up a book he recommended.
• He seems to be pretty intelligent.  He is able to think for himself and has an opinion.
• He likes fish!  Hahahaha, not really a pro, but it was cute to see him talk about his fish and how he likes his fish.  He owns 3 huge fish tanks with various fishies.
• He has intense eyes.  When a conversation would end he would hold my gaze until I had to turn away.  I get shy!!
• He walked me to my car when it was time to go home.

Cons

• A little too soft-spoken.  Maybe it was because it was our first date?  He's on the quieter side, but I would him get animated once in a while.
• He's not particularly funny.  Not that that's a prerequisite, but I do appreciate very much a man with an excellent sense of humor.  I laugh at everything, but I like men that make me LAUGH laugh because of their wit and comedic timing.
• He lives with a roommate.  Not a huge detractor, but still, I like men who live alone.  :)

But I think I would like to see him again.  After Starbucks, he asked if I'd like to walk around a bit so we went to Borders and picked up a Kurt Vonnegut book.  And as we walked out he then playfully bulldozed me into the next store, PetSmart.  We browsed the fish aisle as he told me more fish knowledge.

And finally he walked me to my car.  He then gave me a hug (yes, he gave me a hug) and looked me in the eye with a serious look and said, "I would really like to see you again."  He would be out of town for the holidays to visit his family in Kentucky but would be back in a week.  I said yes, I would like to see you again too.

I think my first impressions may be erroneous.  I kinda like this guy, and he doesn't seem like an asshole either.  I should actually not trust my first instinct, because I've done this before with coworkers but it ends up we become best buddies.  So yeah, it seems I might have sized up Eli all wrong.  We'll see how the 2nd outing goes.

Oh boy, so it looks like I'm going to have a 2nd date!  I have a feeling that I'm going to be having more 2nd dates with other men I'm talking to on match... this is starting to become difficult.  What if I have a connection with all of them?  Jesus H. Christ, that would be unmanageable and also my heart couldn't take it...

Date #6 - The Ex

I had planned to take my ex out to dinner for his birthday for quite some time now.  It was to be at the Blue Bayou in Disneyland, but alas, the surly weather caused the park to close early.  And I was feeling rather sickly, my ex decided to bring over some dinner to my place.

I hadn't seen him in a while and hadn't talked to him much either.  We munched on dinner while watching 30 Rock, all the while laughing and sitting close to one another on the couch.  It was nice to just relax in front of the tv and hear someone else laughing with me to the show, as I usually watch it alone.

We didn't really talk much about serious things, and kept it light most of the night.  I asked him how his match stuff was going, and he said it was okay.  He too was getting exhausted maintaining all the emails and such.  I agreed with him.  But other than that, we did not go into specifics.  Not sure if he's met gals that are special, or if he just didn't want to hear my stories, but it was a bit odd that we clammed up and didn't discuss this topic.  I guess maybe since we might still care for each other, hearing this would be odd.

I was starting to really get tired, so he offered to go home.  Before he left, he gave my head a nice rubdown to relieve the tension.  It was really nice.  It's like he knew what I needed.

When he left, I didn't feel a desperation of wanting him to be around.  I had a good time with him but wasn't feeling the neediness that I might feel from before.  The attention, the focus, the time.  I'm not sure what to think of our evening in, but I felt like I was definitely becoming less attached to him.  And I'm not really sad about it.  It's a course of life it seems.  Who knows where he and I will go from here!

Date #5 - Michael

Michael works down the street from me at a Visual Effects studio for films.  We meet at our local Coffee Bean just minutes from our respective work places.

Pros:

• Average looking, kinda gangly, but kinda cute.  Wears glasses and has longish-short hair.
• Very, very sweet.  Defintely could never be an asshole.  When he found out I walked to Coffee Bean, he said, Oh, if I'd had known I would have picked you up.  Definitely could tell he was genuine.
• Offered to buy me my coffee when I ordered.  Could tell it was genuine again, not a macho move to show me he's boss.  But I said thanks and paid for myself.
• Likes his job a lot.
• Seems like a family guy.  Going out to Massachussets for Christmas.
• Lives alone.  No roommates!

Cons:

• I had to steer most of the conversation.  When there was a lull, I felt uncomfortable so would bring up the next topic to talk about.  Maybe I should have left the silence so that he could have brought something up.... will try that tactic if that ever happens again.
• Kinda too quiet.  I felt like I was really animated when I talked, but he was rather reserved.
• Not super interesting.  Nothing he said really stuck with me.  No funny anecdotes, no sass, no wit, no sexiness.

Really, really nice guy, but not feeling it!  :(  Maybe I scared him off with my alpha-femaleness of paying for my own drink, walking there, steering the conversation.  I called him when I got home tonight to tell him the "thanks-for-having-cofffee-but-i-don't-feel-the-chemistry" conversation, but he didn't pick up, nor did he call back.  I guess it'll have to wait till tomorrow.

Next contender please!

30 Dates in 30 Days

So I've taken on the 30-day 30-date challenge.  For those who are unfamiliar with this challenge, it is a social experiment to explore oneself.  The quest's end goal may differ per individual, but for me, here's what I'm going for:

• It is a time to assess my likes, my dislikes, how I interact with men, how they perceive me, how I perceive them and why I accomodate so much.
• I will also learn to say no.
• I will put myself in uncomfortable situations so as to get over my fear of them.
• I will sharpen my people reading skills and learn to detect people I would not want to interact with.
• I will stop being so trusting in every man I meet.
• I will learn that there are assholes in this world (I believe I've been sheltered from these types).
• I will learn to cut out the bullshit.
• I will better know what qualities I want in a man.
  

I will consider BestBuy guy as date #4 and proceed from there.  #1, #2 and #3 were casual encounters with people that I already know and still speak to, but I will consider them as dates, since it was a 1-on-1 outing.  However, I won't go into these now as I already have lots of logging to do for future dates to come.

So shall the learning begin!