Date #26 - Garrett

Much akin to Rachel Ray's 30 minute meals, this speedy round was Lily's Wham-Bam Meet-Em and Loose-Em edition.

He finds me via the internet and sends me an email. Super nice guy. Really generic, but very nice. Get the feeling he's a bit scared of this whole online dating thing, but whatdahell, he's kinda cute.

I am chatting with him online on a Saturday evening, me and laundry hanging out, Garrett and his towel hanging out (just got outta the shower, he claims). I bully him into meeting me for a drink in Santa Monica. Now. He stumbles a bit. Now? Yeah, now. You scared of me? Of course he can't admit he's scared of me, but he's scared of me. We meet at Busby's on Santa Monica Blvd.

Pros

• Just as I imagined, ridiculously nice.
• Just as I imagined, very scared. Or if I were to use a kinder word, shy.
• He bought me a beer. Hooray for chivalry!
• Can play some b-ball. He goes to the gym over by the Magic Johnson theater and can hang with the boys. They respect the little white boy. He can shoot 3 pointers.
• Likes to read. And write. Good. He can speak the English.

Cons

• Conversation did not floweth. It halted a bit, froze a bit, was awkward a bit, was fluid a bit. Overall, okay. And it was mostly ME of course who greased the wheels to make it run.
• Seemed really surprised when I told him I read Fight Club and Bourne Identity. I could practically see in his eyes, what? A girl who reads man-books? It wasn't really a con per se, but just thought it was weird that he thought it was weird. You dig?
• He seemed kind of boring. Like.... plain oatmeal. No cream added, no honey added, no raisins either. Just plain old oatmeal. I want an ice cream sundae, not oatmeal.
• Post-date online chatting, he suggested we cuddle. Cuddle = bodies touching = hands roaming = sex. Sigh. Comon dude, be more of a gentleman!!! (Still, the chastity belt remains on!!)

So all-in-all, he was an okay guy, but no chemistry on my end. How could you ignite a spark with oatmeal? Your flame would just fizzle.

And just like that, I blocked him on chat so I wouldn't have to deal with him anymore. Sorry kiddo, don't have the patience nor the desire to make you feel better about yourself. You done fucked up. ;)

Date #25 - Paul

My first Aussie! I felt safe going on this date because he was leaving tomorrow and so there would be no pressure for follow up. I know, I'm a chicken.

Pros

• Very easy to talk to.
• "Australian biscuits! They taste great!" Australian accents are cute, how can you not like them?
• Hates Twitter.
• Hates the cold.
• Loves to travel.
• When he was describing Australia and its surrounding countries, he dismissed Tasmania saying, we don't like to talk about them. LOL. <--- The lol is not to be used lightly, which indicates the impact of this statement on lily. LOL was an appropriate way to describe her reaction.

Cons

• A bit on the skinny side.
• Lives far. Would never try a long distance thing. Evar.
• Not romantically attracted to him.

He was gonna cab it home, but I dropped him off as he was staying in Brentwood. No pressures, we said we would keep in touch and that was that. A fun evening with good conversation and a new friend across the Pacific pond.

Date #24 - Chad

This was a 3 month stint that started in May and ended in heartache. So not to dwell on too many stories, here is a list to summarize it all:

Pros

• Handsome. Very solid, good looking guy.
• Great chemistry. The mutual attraction was palpable.
• Smart. 99.9th percentile on his MCATs.
• A doctor that loves his profession and is great at it. Job satisfaction! And job stability!
• He brought out a great side in me. With him, my wit floweth. My caring knew no bounds. My OCD was put to a halt. My generosity was at its best.
• He tought me knew words. My vocabulary was expanding.
• We had a similar sense of humor. Laughter was abundant.
• I was happy.

Cons

• He was immature. He thought no girls pooped or farted. So I never pooped or farted in front of him. Or at least he thought so. ;)
• He was inexperienced with love + relationships. He didn't start dating until he was 28.
• He was extremely superficial. He spent more time on his hair than I did on mine.
• He drove a Corvette. And wanted to upgrade his car to.... another Corvette! Yay!
• He couldn't show me signs that he really cared for me. He blamed it on the fact he was emotionally devoid from his past relationships.
• He never displayed affection in public because he, in a sense, was ashamed of me. He wanted me to dress up in heels and makeup so that others would envy him. I hid behind a "mask" of natural beauty, according to Dr. Awesome. Brilliant!
• He would not try new things, experiences, places, etc.
• Had a fear of flying. Never been on an airplane, said he never would.
• Didn't have the balls to tell me he only cared for me as a friend, not a lover.

Sadly, this relationship would have hobbled along until he grew tired of the sex, or I got more sick of the situation I was in. I knew I deserved better, so despite me blindly falling for him, I had to break it off. Which is what I did.

Good riddance.

Date #23 - Daniel

This date was from back in April I believe, so bear with me as I remember the details of this particular date.

It was late on a Saturday evening. I am chatting with Daniel online. We get along great online. I have it in my head is super hot, because his pictures show him as hot. He plays guitar. He's trying to go pro with cycling. And best of all, he thinks I'm GREAT! He signed up for xyz dating website for me!

He decides to drive over from Pasadena and hang out with me on Saturday evening in my living room. And sleep over on the couch since he has a race the next morning near LAX. I'm excited. I get prettied up. And wait.

I meet him outside my apartment. My first reaction is, wow, he is skinny!

Pros

• He's cute. Not hot as I saw him to be, but very cute.
• He plays guitar. :) Sessy.
• He's a computer geek. So we can geek out together.

Cons

• He is too skinny. If my round ass sat on him, I felt like I could break him.
• His humor is a bit TOO weird. Too goofy almost.
• Doesn't make friends easily. Not that I mind that, but he doesn't have many friends, if any friends in LA. That would mean, if we were to date, I would be his one-and-only lover+friend. Ehhhhhh (that's a buzzer noise for fail).
• He felt like a brother. I don't even think I need bullet points after this one.

We have yet stayed friends, but the romance on my side fizzled after that night. How can you date someone who you have no attraction to? You cannots.