Date #21 - Scott

Date #20 was a tough act to follow.  Scott actually is not too bad but I'm going to cut to the lists very quickly.

Scott is a USC student who's studying accounting.  He's already got a job lined up with KPMG for forensics accounting (investigating fraud) and he's done a tour in Iraq.  So he was a military man, infantry.  But now he's going back to school and has got a year left.  Scott likes wine and enjoys spending time with his friends (who are mostly in their early 40s) as well as playing the occasional Call of Duty.

Pros

• He seems like a smart guy.  Just by the way he explains things.
• He's pretty cute.  Nothing super special, but solid looking.
• He likes wine and knows a lot about it.  But not pretentious about it all.
• Seems like a very responsible guy.  Wants to buy a house before he gets married.
• Sarcastic and gives me a hard time.  I like it when a guy can dish it out (Ezra's [date #9] sarcasm can't be beat though, it's the best).

Cons

• When we went in for coffee at Coffee Bean, he asked if they have a military discount.  Sigh.  Really?  Do you need to do that for coffee?
  
• He's favorite genre of books is war/military books.  That's not bad in itself, but he doesn't try other things.  Oh, and the only other thing he reads is wine magazines.  Sigh.  That again is not bad in itself, but branch out a bit!
• He doesn't know how to dress himself.  Not that what he wore was bad (it was very generic, a long sleeved t-shirt, jeans and skechers shoes) but he said he had to take his girl friend to give him advice on purchasing clothing.  And he's picky about it to boot, but he still doesn't know what he really likes.  Why is this so hard?
• He has a beige couch.  He says he likes to play things safe.  He knew the beige would go with anything.  Boring?
• He's kinda straight arrow.  Not sure how I feel about that yet.

We actually hung out longer than I wanted.  I was getting tired and we had a beer and sliders at a place called the Parlor in Santa Monica.  We chatted about all sorts of stuff, so it's easy enough to talk to him.  But I kept thinking back to date #20 Jeffy.  Poor Scott didn't get a fair chance.

We had already talked about how if dating doesn't work out, that friendship is always an option, just in general.  So I think he and I could be friends, although I don't even have time for my current set of friends.  Perhaps we'll hang out again sometime.  But my time may be dedicated elsewhere, mu ha ha ha....

Date #20 - Jeffy

His name is Jeff but people call him Jeffy.  So I call him Jeffy.  Our emails to each other were short and sassy.  We progressed to the phone quickly and it was really fun talking to him.  We talked about his trip to Japan this past winter and how he had a blast with his Japanese hosts.  And how he refused to take pictures with the Japanese hostess girls at the tea rooms since he'd look like a big dorky American.  His pictures on his profile showed a really cute guy.  Hot body.  Youch.

I texted him this morning asking him if he had to work today and he did in fact.  But since he worked from home, he said he'd meet me for lunch.  I drove down to Manhattan Beach to meet him at the pier.

I sat on a stone pillar in front of the pier waiting for him to appear.  He calls me as he's walking down towards the pier and I try to spot him among the crowd.  He says he's wearing jeans.  I see him.  And my jaw drops.  Wow, he's really fucking hot (his stature).  He draws closer and he's REALLY cute too (his face).  Oh my god.  He gives me a hug.  He thinks it's cute that I'm sitting on the pillar with my feet dangling 4 feet from the ground.  *Squeal!*

We go to eat sushi at the Sun and Moon Cafe and I get to really observe his sans-sunglass face.  He's a corn-fed Iowan, super sweet, very innocent-ish wholesome guy.  Sooooo adorable.  His personality is very, very cute.  I'm going to just segue into the pros now:

Pros

• SO ADORABLE.  Not only is he ridiculously hot, but he's got the cutest freaking personality.  He refers to himself in the 3rd person, Jeffy.  Hi Jeffy!  He is a happy, happy guy.  I like it!  Oh and he has a slight midwest accent, it's the cutest thing.  He says his "o's" funny.  I told him it's endearing.
• He's got a GREAT smile.  Such nice teeth!  I told him he could do a Crest White Strips commercial they were so nice.
• Um, super hot?  He's got the CUTEST face.  Cute, cute light brown eyes.  And he's built like a UFC fighter.  And he's a surfer.  And a snowboarder.  And he's 6'1''.  And he's got hair that points in all directions.  And really sexy arms.  And long, long legs covered in True Religion jeans that are tattered and torn not for fashion's sake, but since he's worn them since 2001 (before it was tres chic to do so).  *Drooooool*
• There's something very silly about him so I laugh constantly with him.  And yes, I know I'm a chronic laugher, but I genuinely find him very funny.  Not necessarily because he is witty, but of the way he says things and how we interact.  It works very well.
• There's an innocence about him, but not in the naive way.  It's more like an innocence in the wholesome way.  When I heard his Japan stories I could see how he was very careful not to offend and be a big, obnoxious American.  Also, there were no sexual innuendo jokes at all from him, so I feel like I'm more of a pervert than him.  ;)  Oh and he's definitely not an asshole!  Hooray!!
• He actively shows interest in me.  Not in a creepy perverted way, but in a cute, flirtatious way.  He found out I had a Canon Rebel XSi and he said he had a Rebel XT.  So he brought his camera to the beach (I left mine in the car) and we walked down to the sand.  He asked me to be his subject and kept taking pictures of me saying I was adorable.  ^______^  I was too shy and kept running away though.
• He adores me.  I think this is key in a guy-girl relationship.  The guy MUST adore the girl at all costs, or else the relationship will fail.  It's like my dear friend SK (you know who you are).  Her man (AW) ADORES her and anyone can see this.  He has stars in his eyes when he looks at her and that's the way it always, always should be.  Oh, and Jeffy kissed me on the top of my head once saying I was adorable.  :D
• He's not afraid to try new things, or be ashamed of it.  He likes vampire stories so he watched Twilight.  Thought it was interesting and wanted to know more of the story so he bought the 2nd book and started reading that.  Hahahahahahaha I totally made fun of him for reading Twilight but I think it's great he's able to try it out!
• We've got great chemistry.  What else can I end this pros list on?

Cons

• He lives with roommates.  But since this is him, I totally forgive it.  It's not even an issue.
  

I'm totally smitten so I don't see many cons right now.  I'm sure there's got to be more and I will be wary that yes, right now I'm just star struck so I will be careful with my emotions.

We hung out for 4 hours that day.  We did the picture thing on the beach, walked around feeding quarters into our meters, sat down on a bench watching the ocean, drank Orange Dream Machines and soaked up the sun together.  We had so much fun together.

When we parted we had a nice, long, lingering hug.  He smells so, so nice.  I'm totally melting right now as I think back to that hug.  He asked me if I had plans this weekend and I answered in the negative.  We planned on getting together this weekend.

This was the first date that made me want to end all other connections to other dates.  Unconditionally.  And yes, I will not do that at this point but Jeffy has me floored.  I like this one.  A lot.  We'll have to see how this one goes.  :)

Aaaaaand I feel like a jerk, but I had another date right after Jeffy.  We'll go onto date #21 in just a minute.  5 minute interlude please.

Date #19 - Jonny

25 year old kid who lives in San Diego.  SAN DIEGO, folks!  I write him back saying, you're in San Diego.  That's far and I don't do commutes.  But he insists on meeting me, calling me princess and saying he'll drive up for the first date.  We compromise and meet in Irvine for some mini-golf at Boomers.

Over the phone and email, he seemed interesting enough.  Slighly crazy I think.  Not necessarily in the unstable way, but I could just tell there was something... creatively crazy about him.  He was creative, which I liked but there were tons of red flags to begin with.

1. 25 year old living in San Diego.
2. 25 year old living with parents in San Diego.
3. He spins for a living, but really is that a full-time living?  I know people who are DJs that do this, but his seems like it's not a full-time gig.

But our interactions were fun.  He seemed to really dig me.  It sounded lke he wanted to settle down with me in a house with a white picket fence in Eugene, Oregon.  Um.  Me?  Eugene, Oregon?  White picket fences?  HAHAHHAHAHAHA yeah right.

So we meet.  Aaaaand I'll just dive right into this list.

Pros

• He seems to like me?
• Has pretty eyes? <-- that doesn't save it him at all though, see the cons list below
• He seems creative.  Does DJ'ing and writes and draws.  <--- that doesn't save him still, keep reading the cons list below.

Cons

• Not as cute as pictures.  Damn.
• Short.  Damn.
• Weird fucking clothes.  Damn.  I don't like it when the crotch of guy's pants are down to their fucking knees.  It makes you look fat too.
• Fat?  Maybe not, but I couldn't tell due to the LONG-CROTCHY PANTS.
• Didn't like his voice when I heard it on the phone the first time, didn't like it in real life either.
• I think...I THINK he might come be white trash.... I just had this gut feeling when I first talked to him and I can't shake the feeling.  His brother works for Sony though, so that kinda throws a wrench in my theory.
• He said he liked Oriental women.  So I said, rugs are Oriental.  I'm Asian.  Wow.  Who still calls Asians Orientals??  (Oh yeah, Madison is totally an Asian last name.  Look it up).
• He.  Drives.  An.  xB.  Yeah.
• He says he's a great screenwriter.  Okay.  I'm a great painter too and I'm a great fucking chef as well.  Who says that about themselves?  And if you're unpublished nonetheless?  WHAT IS THE BASIS FOR THIS!!!

Before we left, he said he couldn't read me at all.  That I mask my true feelings well.  And that he had no idea what I really thought about the date.  Nice.  I had no idea that I had such depth.

He called me later that night after we split ways.  I told him I was gonna go out to watch a movie so later dude.  And he said he'd be happy to hear back from me anytime.  I just didn't want to talk to him anymore.

We are from different worlds.  I don't get him and he doesn't get me.  Annnnd I don't want to keep this up.  So I think I will call him and let him know today that Lily best be on her way.

Date #18 - Raha

I was never really interested in this guy, even when he emailed me a few times, even when I read his profile.  He seemed like a nice enough guy and I've gotta say, I just liked one of his body shot pictures where he looked very well built.  He was persistant in emailing me, and once the numbers were exchanged, of calling me too.  Nothing super fun between us, but I figured I'd go out on my first date with a Persian boy.  And yes, anyone that knows Lily H. Madison knows she doesn't like her Persians.  So this was a big leap of faith.

He wasn't too bad.  But man, he was way shorter than I expected!  And a lot slimmer, not as built as his pictures portrayed him to be.  But very easy going and friendly.  We walked from his apartment over to Monsoon on the promenade.

Pros:

• Very happy with his work life balance.  He sets his schedule so he's able to have flexibility in his life.
• Lives alone.
• Very friendly.
• Insisted on paying?  Although I have to put this in the cons list too, because I really was trying to pay for my own dinner, no freebies needed here please.

Cons:

• Dips his edamame in soy sauce.  What?
  
• Talks about shortness.  I find that there are some short guys who will talk about ME being short when it's they who have the chip on the shoulder about shortness.  It's like, just get over being short and don't make it another person's problem.  There are plenty of guys who are short and attractive.
• Insisted on paying.  I was serious about paying for my share but he wouldn't hear of it.  And then he said, next one is mine.  Damn!  That means he wants another date!
• No chemistry.  I'm not attracted to him romantically.  At all.

So now I have to do that talk with him.  Sigh.  Not gonna be easy, as I could tell that he liked me.  On our walk back from dinner he kept touching my arms and doing the pseudo-hug thing.  Grrrr.  And actually, I don't even find him interesting enough to want to be friends with him, so I think this is byebye Raha.  :(  Sorry dude!

Date #17 - Steve

Steve was also one of the early emailers and he went to Japan to visit his folks over the holiday break.  Yes, he's white and his parents live in Japan.  Steve speaks fluent Japanese.  How sexy is that!

Throughout our email exchanges I could tell he was a really sweet guy.  He shared his stories with me of his trip to Japan and even offered to bring me back toys if I was looking for something in particular.  From his pictures I wasn't really attracted to him per se but I liked how mellow our emails were.  It was almost like writing to a pen pal buddy, where there was no indication that we were trying to date which took the pressure off.  And for some reason I had it in my head that he was short.  

He was tall standing at 6 feet.  And there was definitely something about him I found attractive.  I liked how he was slim but not skinny and he just had a nice standing form.  He was very, very soft-spoken but it was rather nice.  We met at Ramen-Ya on Olympic.

I was a fucking mess.  I think I still had my fever at that point, I'm wearing glasses since I'm doing lasik next week and I'm just not in top form.  I kept apologizing to him for being a mess but he kept dismissing it saying I seemed just fine.

Pros

• I find him attractive.  He's not even that super good looking, but I am attracted to him.  I suppose that is what you call chemistry?
  
• He's really thoughtful.  He knew about me getting a pig keychain from Yoshinoya in Tokyo and that I love Miyazaki films.   So he got me a Porco Rosso keychain.  It was so cute!!  And so very thoughtful because he remembered details about me and customized a small gift for me.  :D
• I like how he dresses.  He kinda has the edgy art thing going on, but kinda slightly skater-ish as well.  More edgy artish though, but I liked that.
• He speaks fluent Japanese.  How fucking sexy is that.  We went to Nijiya after lunch and he showed me some new things that I haven't tried before.  Love it!!
• I like what he does.  He works for this television company called Current and they aggregate news in a really quirky, funny internet-savvy way.  Internet savvy is ALWAYS a good thing.  Actually, I think it's impertive for me.
• Although he doesn't blatantly show he likes me, there are subtle undertones which I think is a sweet way to show it.  It's not completely masked so I can't tell (like date #9 Ezra),  and it's not blatantly spelled out to me (like date #7 Eli and date #14 Eric), but it's just innocent enough to be fun.
• Financially responsible.  He bought a townhouse with his brother.  Not a bad thing I'm guessing?

Cons

• Almost too soft-spoken?
  
• His laugh is kinda soft-spoken as well.
• He's got a pretty serious demeanor.  Not a super negative thing, but just his resting state is very serious.  My resting state is very happy-go-lucky and upbeat.  But I guess it would be weird if I guy were like that, that would be gay.  So okay, we can nix this one.
• Not crazy about his hair.  Kinda wild and curly and not short but not long.  It's interesting.

After a while I was starting to break down (the fever kicked up a notch) so I told him I'd better go.  He then proceeded to give me the keychain (so cute!!!) and we drove back to his car (we carpooled to Nijiya from Ramen-Ya).  He told me if I felt better that I should give him a call so we can hang out.  He gave me a hug and I drove away.

He texted a few hours later saying it was really great to meet me and that he hoped the doctor gave me drugs to fix me.  He also gave me a bunch of links to watch some interesting videos which if I got bored staying home all day.  Again, how sweet is that??

I think I'll do a date #2 with this one.

Date #16 - Kevin

We'd been emailing back and forth for a bit since he was up in Northern California for the holidays.  Our emails were okay, nothing spectacular or super engaging, more of the generic get-to-know-you type of emails.

We rendezvous at a Coffee Bean in Santa Monica (same setting as our dear professor in date #8) mid-evening.  We grab the only available seats outside, as far away from already occupied open firepits as possible (not by choice).  It is goddamn cold.

He's cute!  He looks better than his pictures which is always a +.  He has sandy blonde hair and could quite possibly be more jolly and laughy than I am.  Very easy going, no pressure when talking to him.

Pros:

• Cute is good.  He had on a sexy motorcyle jacket too.  Not over the top and tasteful.
  
• Seems very motivated and driven; likes his profession very much (he's an architect).  Going to grad school right now for that too.
• Found out that his parents raised him to be very independent and to do his own shit.  For example, he started making his own lunches since he was 8 (okay okay, I was spoiled and my mom made me lunches, sheesh!)
• Conversation flowed readily.  I can be rather socially awkward at times and freeze up, but this interaction was easy.  Easy as pie!
• Oh he walked me to my car.  He said, "I'll walk you to your car."

Cons

• I believe he said he lives with roommates?
• A little TOO laughy.  I wonder if I'm like that!  It was almost weird to see someone so jolly, but I don't think it was insincere.  A weird example of this is when he called the night before to set a date time, I was at my parents.  And he started doing his really jolly laugh when I said "I don't see them that often, only a couple of times a month".  He said, "That's considered not often??  HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR!"  That totally confused me because, really, why is that funny?
• He's not uber interesting.  Just a nice guy that was easy to talk to and I'm not sure if I'm interested in him romantically.  I can determine that on date #2, if he contacts me again.

And not because I like to play games or be the typical girl doing the waiting game, but I've decided not to actively contact any of the guys I'm dating.  It just takes up too much time.  I already have so many of them contacting me back that I would never have enough time for me.

He texted back the next day saying sorry he kept me out for so long (I was coughing and shivering all night long) but that it may not have been a bad thing.  I'm reading between the lines here, but I'm guessing he had fun.  I had fun, why shouldn't mister laughy have had fun?  I jest, he's a nice guy.  :P

Date #15 - Dave

Dave is a tv executive.  He creates new shows for reality tv/talk shows/etc.  I generally don't like the entertainment asshole personas that dominant that business, but he seemed nice enough in his short emails to me.  He suggests we meet at Urth Caffe in Santa Monica.

Pros

• Seems like a smart, smart man.  From his profile it shows he went to an ivy league school, but never got to ask him where that was.
• He encourages creativity.  He somehow got me jazzed up about painting again.  And finding other ways to make my passion = my work.  It's inspiring.
• He is very happy with his life, but he wants to always learn more and strike a better balance with work/life.  Balance is always good.
• Open about giving me compliments.  He commented on how he "liked my color" and I stupidly thought he was talking about my cool new blue sweater so I looked down at my sweater and started saying, "Oh yeah, thanks!  I like this sweater blahblahblahblaa.." and he interrupts me with, "Nono, I meant your skin tone".  *Palm in face*

Cons

• Not super attractive looking to me, but okay.  He's tall and fit with pretty blue eyes though!
• He has longish hair that's a bit greasy.  He keeps smoothing back his hair behind his ears.  Just cut it goddamnit!!
• Don't really like his clothing taste.  He had a leather jacket which is okay I guess, but a button up shirt (not a formal one, but just a casual one) which I wasn't crazy about.

So it seems my cons are all superficial.  Man, I sound like an awful person, but it matters!!  It really does!!

He asked me openly about the dates I'd had on match.  I told him some were disasters whereas others were not bad.  He told me how he dated a girl for about 6 months before off of match.  And I also told him I am not looking for anything serious right now and am dating other guys - stick around if you'd like, otherwise hit the road jack (in much, much nicer tones of course).  He said he'd stick around.  Cool, he was okay with it.  That's the spirit!  ;)

I told him I'd like to hang out with him again.  But if I continue to not find him physically attractive, I may have to cut it off.  It wouldn't be fair for either of us.   So we'll see where this goes.